Happiness Is Not A Body Size
WHEN 5 POUNDS ISN’T “JUST 5 POUNDS” & “NORMAL” ISN’T NORMAL –
3 years ago my highest BMI of 29 went down to 25.
You’d think after all the effort I put forth to get from the cusp of “obesity” to the lower end of “overweight”, I’d be happy at that size but, I wasn’t.
It bothered me. Despite my best efforts of losing 25 pounds, I still didn’t fit into the “normal” criteria by BMI standards. But if I lost 5 more pounds, I would.
I already had a great foundation. I ate protein at every meal, almost always included fruit or vegetables, paired my snacks with healthy fats and listened to my hunger cues. I already lost 25 pounds, what was 5 more?
What I didn’t know then but later learned was 5 more pounds was not just 5 more pounds. 5 more pounds was the difference between food freedom and obsession.
To lose it (and keep it off), I had to count every macro, stay in a calorie deficit of 1,000 per day, increase my strength-training days from 4 to 5, and commit to 4 days of cardio per week.
Because the calorie count was too low, I tried intermittent fasting as a way to prevent the temptation to go over. I’d go to bed hungry, sometimes not eating or drinking after 4 p.m. because I knew anything in my stomach (even water) would make the scale go up.
I backslid to my younger days when I got so caught up in needing a certain outcome, I stopped seeing the red flags telling me to slow down and reassess.
It started getting harder. My anxiety around food was coming back, and I forgot about my own quote: “If you don’t fall in love with the process, you’ll be forever disappointed with the progress.”
It took a couple months, but I did it. I finally got into the “normal” category. I thought I’d be okay stopping there to maintain, but I wanted to see how much more I could lose. I thought: “5 more pounds would look perfect.” My mind was motivated, but my body started breaking down.
Long story short, I ended up getting sick; instructed to stop working out and remove the calorie deficit. I needed to feed and nourish my body instead of waging war on it.
In retrospect, I see how clearly the warning signs were trying to stop me
from going down the destructive path of disordered eating and body dysmorphia.
I was disappointed and frustrated, but getting that illness was the best thing that could’ve happened to me.
If I hadn’t gotten sick, my disordered eating would have most likely developed into a full-blown eating disorder.
Seeing the lengths it took me to get to a “normal” weight, I know now that’s not normal for me and certainly not MY healthiest weight.
I realized my healthiest weight wasn’t a number at all and the happiness I was searching for wasn’t going to come as a result of changing my body size.
With Lots Of Healthy Love,
Toni
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The #1 Step To Take Before Attempting Any Goal
In 1956 Roger Bannister ran a 4 minute mile. Back then this was deemed impossible, dangerous even. There were theories, based off physics that hypothesized a human heart would explode before crossing the finish line.
But despite what was perceived, Roger believed he could. And it was his belief that motivated his DECISION to try.
Notice how I said DECISION not CHOICE. You see, a choice can be wavered, but a decision is final. And this finite decision is what silenced ALL doubt and led to him to find ways to make it happen.
So no, belief isn’t what technically got him across the finish line- it was the training schedule, meals consumed, and habits formed to support this feat.
However, the effort put forward consistently wouldn’t have been attempted if he didn’t believe 1st.
Oh and that’s not even the best part. Shortly after he set the record, HUNDREDS of athletes have followed in his footsteps with <4 minute miles!
The impossible was deemed possible all because ONE PERSON BELIEVED HE COULD.
So regardless of the doubt that surrounds you, whether it be from family, friends, or in your own head, know that WHEN YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN, YOU WILL.
With Lots Of Healthy Love,
Toni
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